Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life, so to speak, as Meg my beloved wife of nearly sixty years of acquaintance and over 57½ years of marriage finally succumbed to the ravages of dementia and had died peacefully and surrounded by friends last Saturday. But today I am going to reflect the events of last Sunday which was the occasion of my 80th birthday and therefore quite a significant landmark in anyone's life. I knew that some of my wonderful friends from down the Kidderminster Road were planning a special celebration for me and although most of the party was to be a surprise as I did not know who was going to attend, I had to be let in on a few details so that some forward planning could take place. Indeed, whether the event could take place at all was rather in doubt as Meg was still alive but failing fast and nobody can predict precisely when they are due to meet their maker so we were all in somewhat of a dilemma. But I have to say that Meg exercised the most exquisite timing in her departure from this world. In the first place, she managed to hang on so that our very dear friend and one time Erasmus student had time to arrive from Madrid and make her final goodbyes. We also had time to fit in the celebratory meal which my son and daughter-in-law had planned for the day before my birthday and had then died so peacefully and surrounded by family and friends on the day before I was due to turn 80. So Meg had ensured that I could celebrate my birthday with my very dear friends whilst she was looking on benignly from another place. So Sunday, the actual date of my birthday commenced, after some early morning blogging, with our Erasmus friend calling for me at about 10.00am so that we could walk down into Bromsgrove. It was a most beautiful warm and sunny spring day with weather much better, paradoxically, than in Madrid and as walked down the hill, I knocked on the door of our Italian friend who happened to be in. She very warmly invited us both in and we had the opportunity the opportunity to discuss things European which was a common bond between us all. Actually my Italian friend actually has some Spanish and perhaps in the future we might be able to visit Spain together but we did converse today in English. It was so wonderful for my two close friends to actually meet like this and I am sure it was to be the first meeting of many. Then my Madrid friend and I proceeded down the hill and I could indicate the houses where all of my close friends actually lived before we paid a visit to Waitrose with which my friend was familiar as it had featured in so many of my past blogs. Having picked up my newspaper, I knew it was to mainly the weekend staff rather than the regular 'partners' but I did espy a partner who I know particularly well and who hails originally from South Africa. Every day he used to enquire about Meg and regularly saw me pushing Meg around in her wheelchair. I had to impart to him the sad news that Meg had passed on the day before. So this entailed a great hug of consolation (naturally, I was in tears) as well as a bunch of yellow roses pressed into my hand. Even the assistant who I knew only vaguely by sight had her eyes filled with tears as she served me, as my sad news was being communicated to other staff -this is not what one would normally expect from the staff of a supermarket but, after all, I am the store's oldest customer having being first in the queue when the store opened on my birthday probably eight years ago now.
My Irish friends called for me just after 2.00pm and we made our way to the nearby 'Holiday Inn' for the birthday bash which was a 'tea' which we had jointly planned. This turned out to be one of the best celebrations one could possibly imagine. The hotel had provided us with our own private space and we had two large tables, one eventually groaning with food. I had taken along the favourite framed photograph of Meg and myself on our wedding day so that this could be placed upon the table and Meg could be said to have participated in the proceedings. What made it so wonderful was that my Madrid friend could actually meet in the flesh as it were all of the people that she knew about via this blog but of course are not directly named. So we had my Italian friend who, of course, we had met earlier in the morning and then my two Irish friends, my French friend, and my two Catholic friends. In addition, I had also invited along my University of Birmingham friend as well as the Eucharistic minister and her husband who I have go to know so well after her frequent, fortnightly visits. So all there was a gathering of ten of us and the tea which started at about 2.30 went on until at least 6.30pm if not later. The hotel supplied us with copious amounts of sandwiches and little delicacies and as much tea and coffee as we could want. There was no alcohol but we honestly did not miss this. Half way through the proceedings, I proceeded to tell a series of jokes and stories starting with those of a local flavour and then continuing with some stories from Spain before concluding with the extended story about my experinces when I worked at the National Lending Library for Science and Technology from 1962-64. One could scarcely imagine a happier or more joyous occasion and my Madrid friend now knew exactly why I wanted to 'stay put' in this loving and supportive local environment which as the above account reveals has such a decidedly cosmopolitan flavour. In fact my son phoned me to ask if I had enjoyed my birthday celebrations and I had to inform him that at the time of his phoning, it was still going on. The hotel supplied us with a large number of 'doggy bags' to take home the excess food and I think that we filled about six of them until eventually the proceedings came to a natural conclusion after about four hours. My Madrid friend and I spent the whole evening in the kind of intimate and close discussions which happens between close friends who have known each other for years. She has fortunately got a direct flight direct from Birmingham to Madrid and she knew that she had to resume her academic duties first thing on Tuesday morning.
© Mike Hart [2025]